2008-03-28

They'll be coming to take me away soon

Apparently my life is now destined to be a cosmic comedy of sorts. I don't really know how to deal with that other than laugh, so you might as well laugh with me.

This afternoon I went to help the Crulls pack. I had offered to wash their 2 big rag rugs for them, so we loaded them into the granny cart so I could drag them home on the metro. In a moment of sheer stupidity, I also tucked my shopping bag containing my nori and rice vinegar into the granny cart.

Since I am short, the cart was a bit unwieldy, but I managed to trundle up the road to the metro, drag the cart down the stairs, up the little stairs, down the other little stairs and wrestled it through the metro turnstile. I also had my coat draped over the whole contraption because it was too warm for a coat and I was definitely working up a sweat. As I was headed for the final set of stairs down to the metro platform, the cart decided to brake and them promptly topple face-first onto the ground. OK, fine, ignoring stares of people. I picked up the cart, and headed toward the stairs. As I teetered on the top, I noticed some sort of wet patch on the front of the cart.

Uh oh. The rice vinegar came to mind. In another moment of sheer stupidity, I thought that perhaps the cap had become dislodged. I reached into the plastic bag and promptly sliced my index finger open on the shattered bottle. Oh yes.

Well, no use crying over spilled vinegar milk. Might as well solider on home. I staunched the flow of blood against my coat sleeve, dragged the cart down the stairs and waited for the metro, hoping that the vinegar smell would stay kind of contained.

Of course I got the wheels of the cart caught between "coche and anden" (can anyone say "Mind the gap?") but finally stumbled onto the car. I parked my cart tightly up against the doors that would not be opening, and assumed a nonchalant posture, again hoping that people would not start sniffing the air suspiciously.

At this point I was overheated, smelled of vinegar and my finger was still gushing blood every time I took the pressure of. I made it about 9 of the 11 stops, and then I began to feel very, very woozy. Blood doesn't bother me, but I actually thought that little nick in my finger, combined with the heat and the lovely smell of sushi vinegar was going to make me pass out. I got off at the stop before mine. I took off my sweatshirt jacket, wrapped a Kleenex tightly around my finger and sat on the bench. I also ate half a Twix type generic candy bar to boost my sugar level.

I waited three minutes until the next train came and made it to my stop, through the turnstile, up the escalator, up the last wicked flight of stairs and home. I looked at myself in the elevator and I was as white as a ghost.

I recovered from my little adventure after the second band aid finally stopped the bleeding.

Later, I walked to our little local grocery and bought fake crab, because I must definitely now have sushi. They did not have a ripe avocado. I got home. I noticed that the package was not sealed properly. I walked BACK to the grocery store to get a sealed package of fake crab. Nothing but the best.

Upon arriving home, I put rice in the pot so it would be cooked and cooled later. And I promptly dropped the lid of the sugar bowl (the one that matches the set I bought at the store that no longer sells that set) on the floor. It can be glued back together. But the seam will always be there to remind me of this comedic day.

Now as long as the washing machine doesn't blow up because of the weight of the rug, or my husband doesn't have me committed, I will be enjoying sushi tonight.

Amen.

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