2007-04-26

Thursday Thirteen: In Memory of my Mom

Seventeen years ago today, my Mom died. So in honor of her, here are 13 of my favorite memories of her:

  1. Knowing that every morning she was in the living room spending time with God (after she brought my Dad and I coffee in bed!)
  2. Knowing that she would always fall asleep in any movie we took her to.
  3. The way she was always willing to be my "excuse" if I didn't want to do something. (Like, no, I can't go to that whatever because my Mom says no)
  4. The way she would sign her letters to be "The Snort" or "The Steam Shovel" (a la Are You My Mother?)
  5. The uncanny way she always knew that I was going to call home even when I had no plans to.
  6. Her complete and utter love for and dependence on Jesus.
  7. Her passion for honesty and truth.
  8. The way she made my friends feel comfortable in our home.
  9. The many ways she taught me about hospitality. It's why there are always people in our home now, because she modeled it so well.
  10. The way she would snore lightly through her mouth when she fell asleep on the basement floor by the heater.
  11. The way she gave of herself, over and over and over.
  12. Her sarcasm (where do you think mine got honed? :) )
  13. She was my best friend.

2007-04-24

My Husband, My Hero

Today has been a hard day in our house. Nothing that's not fixable, and the situation is well on its way to being mended. But it was hard nevertheless. A lot of tears were shed by both of us today as we talked through things with our team.

And I just have to say, my husband is my hero. He is one of the bravest men I know, with the most integrity. When he is in the wrong and he knows it, he always goes and apologizes with great humility. Even though it can be very very hard. And though in the past, many times when he has done so, others have not been so gracious, (thankfully that was not the case today) he always has the guts and the honor to do it again.

I love you Troy! And I'm so proud of you.

B.O.S. all the way baby.

2007-04-23

For the record

I have been the Queen of "What If" lately. You know the refrain.

What if the car doesn't pass inspection?
What if it needs expensive repairs?
What if we can't drive to Barcelona this weekend for Troy's speaking engagement?
What if the funds don't come in for the school fees by the time the bill is due next Monday?
What if we have to take them out of school?
What if
What if
What if

Once this refrain starts in my life, it tends to escalate and spiral out of control.

In our last email update, this is how I described the image of my life that I've been living with:

"I feel like an Israelite who has been delivered from Egypt (the huge financial crisis we had in the Fall) and is on her way to the Promised Land. But it seems too good to be true, and I have been watching over my shoulder for Pharaoh and his army to appear. I can see them on the edge of the horizon (looming need of the funds to pay the last school payment and Nic's speech therapy) and I can see that we are pushing up against the border of the Red Sea (need to increase our monthly support.)"

To be honest, even though God provided for us in a truly miraculous way in the fall, making it clear in the process that He wants us here, sometimes I still struggle to trust Him. I have the feeling that maybe that provision was our miracle, and that we have used up our share now. I know that sounds ridiculous. Sometimes it feels greedy to ask Him for yet more.

So will you pray with us, that we will sit on the shore here, between Pharaoh and the Red Sea, and have a fish dinner with Jesus around the fire? Pray that we (and me especially) will sit secure and peaceful, listening to what Jesus is saying to me, looking at HIM, not looking over His shoulder to see how close the army is or how big the waves are.

God has been dealing gently with me, sitting here on this beach, giving me His strength, allowing me the time to gather myself. It has been a sometimes daily struggle to hope.

But I am choosing hope. It is starting to sink in around the edges. And I decided that when He provides, I need to take note.

TODAY THE CAR PASSED INSPECTION. THANK YOU GOD!

I am standing at the edge of the Red Sea, with my toes in the water. Jesus' arm is strong around me. And any minute, that water is going to part, and Jesus and me are going to walk right through on dry land together.

2007-04-22

Nek*kid ActionMen on my balcony

Obviously, we need to teach Nic that it's not polite for Action Man to show up in Barbie's pool without his trunks!