A lament

One of the things I have really valued about my spiritual journey in the past few years is learning to worship God through many ways, and thinking outside the box with how I can express myself to God.

Today I have felt the weight of grief and stress from our financial situation weighing heavily on me. I decided to take some time talking to God about it, following the Biblical model of lament. (Good guidelines and examples of this can be found at this website as well as how to write your own lament, and express it with artwork)

My favorite lament in Psalms sounds like this (from the Message)

Psalm 6
A David Psalm
1-2 Please, God, no more yelling, no more trips to the woodshed.
Treat me nice for a change;
I'm so starved for affection.

2-3 Can't you see I'm black-and-blue,
beat up badly in bones and soul?
God, how long will it take
for you to let up?

4-5 Break in, God, and break up this fight;
if you love me at all, get me out of here.
I'm no good to you dead, am I?
I can't sing in your choir if I'm buried in some tomb!

6-7 I'm tired of all this—so tired. My bed
has been floating forty days and nights
On the flood of my tears.
My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears.
The sockets of my eyes are black holes;
nearly blind, I squint and grope.

8-9 Get out of here, you Devil's crew:
at last God has heard my sobs.
My requests have all been granted,
my prayers are answered.

10 Cowards, my enemies disappear.
Disgraced, they turn tail and run.

This is the lament I wrote this afternoon:

Oh God, I feel like my life is on hold,
like I have been waiting for your answer for years.

I look at these boxes still to unpack
Piles of papers to organize, things to put away
things that have no place
I long to settle but I feel like the ground
is only shifting sand
where my roots can't take hold

I know you have the money, God
I know there is boat-loads out there
Can't you spare us a few nickels and dimes?
A drop in the bucket in your economy
Please God, open your cash-box
Give us not too much, but just enough to keep us here

I will trust in You, I will cling to You
and wait for abundance to fall like bounty from your table.


relevantgirl said...

This is lovely, dear one. I am praying.

Erin said...

Mary told me you were lamenting and SoulPerSuiting over here (or, I guess, over in Madrid). This is wonderful!
I love your image of the giant coins hanging over the moving boxes as though ready to squash them. I'm sure you wish God would do that for you. ;)
Thanks for sharing your heart. I'll pray for you today.