Meaghan's Heart

Meaghan has such a sensitive little heart. She was home sick last week with a fever and headache. I sat in our room with her and worked on my laptop. Even though she is a model patient and never complains or whines when she is sick, she does like company.

After I had cranked out a few hours of work I decided to watch The Secret Garden with her. She hadn't seen it yet. I did a mental review to see if there was anything in the movie that would upset her, but nothing came to mind. So we snuggled down to watch.

Un oh. There is a brief scene where Mary, the little girl, has a dream. In it, she is a tiny girl, and her mother is beckoning her into the garden. But then she turns and leaves and Mary is left cowering in the bushes, crying and calling for her mother.

The abandonment undid Meaghan, and it was only after a lot of reassurances that she was willing to crawl into my lap and continue watching.

Hours later as I was getting ready to leave to go into the city for my home group, Meg fell down a few stairs. I could hear her crying as she came down to find me in the basement. She sat on my lap and I hugged and kissed the tears away.

In a little voice, she sniffled "I'm still sad about that dream." I cuddled her close and promised she didn't have to watch it again.

A few more snuffles and then "I'm going to miss you tonight."

At that point I asked her it she just wanted to sit on the couch with me for awhile. The answer was "I just want to be with you."

So we sat and cuddled in the quiet. I pondered the bond between mother and daughter and the mystery of its strength. It's clear that Meg already feels it. And at 37, after my Mom has been gone from my life for 16 years, I still feel the pull of it.

A twinge when a girlfriend gets a call, or a letter or a package from their mom. Or a visit. It's always bittersweet to watch.

At any rate, Meg and I already share that special bond that will only be ours in life. And you can bet that I am going to savor it and cherish it.

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